Childhood in a Song

This is one of the songs I remember most of all from my childhood.
It makes me think of my big sister and I, dancing around her bedroom and singing along.
I grew up with a brother and sister much older than me, and my music taste was heavily influenced by what they and my dad listened to. Except, I averaged between the musical eras and my heart landed in the late 70's and 80's.

Tx.

My Seven Deadly Sins - Pride

Just spotted this on my internet travels, and I quite like the idea of examining my "Sins". 

day 1 - pride. seven great things about yourself. 

day 2 - envy. seven things you lack and covet. 

day 3 - wrath. seven things that piss you off. 

day 4 - sloth. seven things you neglect to do.

day 5 - greed. seven worldly material desires.

day 6 - gluttony. seven guilty pleasures.

day 7 - lust. seven love secrets.

***

So, day 1...

pride. seven great things about yourself. 

1. My Patience - I take a laid back approach to life, I like to cross bridges as I come to them, and I try not to dwell on issues that I can't do anything about.

2. My Hair - I'm lucky in that I'm a hair model, which means I get awesome haircuts for free. 

3. My Shot-Making Skills - I've worked in a bar for a year and a half, and over the past 6 months, I've started making up my own recipes for shots. Most recently, my pride is directed towards my new Black Forest Gateaux shot. 

4. My Shopping Habits - Since my first shopping trips as a kid, I've always managed to make a tiny budget go insanely far.    I can go out with £20 and come home with a CD, a DVD, a pair of Jeans, a Dress and even some make-up. I spend ages wondering around a shop, carrying all the things I want, and then force myself to be brutal - do I need it? do I want it? Does it even suit me? Can I justify it?

5. My Family - Everyone always says the same thing about their family, "we're so crazy!!". My family, IS somewhat mad, but they're also awesome. For usually around 2 days, we're the best of friends, after that we all want to kill each other. We're a funny kind of close - all of us are the same in this - each of us like to know where the others are, but however close we live, we don't see each other often. And my siblings have produced some of the most beautiful children I have ever seen. I'm proud of all of them.

6. My Life - I moved out when I was 19, and I rushed it somewhat. I barely planned money and jobs, and made a bit of a pigs ear of my finances. But I'm proud that I've always managed to feed myself, even if I had to hunt through all the nooks, crannies and jeans pockets for that extra 20p. I've always had a good flat and a good flatmate. I've studied each year, though only this year did I begin my degree. I didn't want to rush myself in choosing a degree to do, I wanted to wait until I figured out what exactly it was I wanted to do.

7. My Relationship - I'm really proud of this one. We met when neither of us were looking for love, and after only 1 week, I knew I loved him. He moved in quite quickly, and we spend almost all our time together. We look after each other, and we're best friends. Both of us have "fixed" parts of the other, and we've done so much for the issues we both have. We don't argue - we sometimes wonder what exactly we'd argue about, then end up play-arguing. My man can cook, tidy, charm the hind legs off a donkey, and make me smile. Both of us knew very early on that whatever the future looked like, we'd be spending it together.

Tx.

Don't You Wave Your Money At Me, You Bastard!

You're in a bar, enjoying friends and a cool beer. 

Some DOs and DON'Ts. 

(I can't lie, it's mostly don'ts)

1. You'll be served when It's your turn to be served. No amount of waving your arms or money, clicking your fingers or telling me your order while I'm doing something else will change that. In fact, you just went to the back of the queue. For the rest of the night. 
2. If you have a big order, don't tell me 20 drinks at once. You fucking struggled to remember them, how the hell am I meant to? And don't then get pissy because I forgot if you wanted diet or regular coke. Either let me do them in 5's, or just write me a list.
3. ..AND don't order one drink at a time. I'm perfectly capable of remembering 4 vodkas with different mixers in each.
4. Don't change your mind once I've brought you your drink. I cannot unmix a Gin and Tonic, I cannot decant your Red Stripe back into the keg, I cannot de-woo your Woo-Woo.
5. Empty glasses are not for your rubbish. I have no desire you to deal with your garbage. High on this list are: Used Tissues, Chewing Gum and Vomit. 
6. There's a reason I am on this side of the bar, I work here. You don't. I really don't care if you want to tell me something urgently, or if you want to high-five me.
7. So, you enjoy sex in a public place, eh? Wonderful, I'm glad you feel so at ease with your sex life. However, I really don't want to see it. Especially from the table directly in front of the bar. If you so desperately need to indulge in hand-jobs, why not try a dark corner seat? a toilet cubical? round the back by the bins? Or, even in your own home?
8. "Can I have that in a small glass, no ice, please?" Oh I see, You're here to get hammered? Well, the difference between a small and a tall glass is negligible, and as the ice is pretty solid, you won't be drinking much of it. 
   In fact, MORE ICE = LESS MIXER = STRONGER DRINK. Confusing, I know.
9. Unless we're friends, don't touch me. The odd high five is fine. But other than that, I'm here to sell you booze, not to be groped by you.
10. Don't mistake my friendliness and chattiness for me wanting to have sex with you. Just don't.
11. Bear in mind that I don't have to give you a reason not to serve you, and if I say NO, don't argue. If you're a dick to me, I'll be a dick to you too.
12. Say Please, say Thanks, and tip me. I'll remember you. I'll serve you as soon as I possibly can. I'll remember your order.
13. Get your names right. I don't sell "Prosciutto", not by glass nor by bottle. Same goes for "Mur-lott", "Pinit Grigit", "Jagger/Gager/Jayger Bombs".
14. The fastest way to get served is to wait, patiently. Make eye contact with me, give me a small sign that says "Yes, I'm in the queue".
15. The DJ came here to play some songs, not your music collection. Don't go verbally attacking the guy just because you're not a fan of The Killers. You're 30 years old. Get a grip.
16. Closing time means you leave, it doesn't mean sit about for 20 minutes finishing your drink. Shoulda bought it earlier, eh? 

....and yet, I love my job.

T.x

Cupcakes!

I bought some poppy seeds around Christmas, for no other reason than just loving them. 

Today, I finally decided to put them to use, and bake some cupcakes. Lemon's always the obvious choice, but I thought I'd get some chocolate and cranberry involved too.

When I bake, I make things up as I go along, I'm not one for following recipes, or measuring as I bake - I go by eye, and texture. When it doesn't work, I start again, and learn what not to do.

To create these yummy cakes, you will require...

• about half, or just a little more, a packet of butter
• soft brown sugar
• an egg
• self-raising flour
• a pinch of baking powder
• poppy seeds
• the juice of one lemon
• 3 or 4 pieces of milk chocolate, grated

Get your cupcake cases ready - grate a little chocolate in the bottom, and perhaps add a few poppy seeds.

Now, mix the butter and sugar until it becomes creamy, then mix in your egg (it might look a little curdled now, but don't worry). 

Cover the lot in the flour and the baking powder (i know self raising should rise by itself, but i always add baking powder, just to be sure), keep on adding and mixing until it gets nice and thick, but still nice and smooth. 

Now add your poppy seeds - I added loads, but I can't get enough of them - and your lemon juice. If your mixture gets a bit too runny again, just add more flour.

Once your mixture seems about right, spoon your it into the cases, fill 'em up... nothing wrong with a big cupcake if it's too much. 

Now whack them in the oven at 180°C, for about 20 minutes or until they're nice and golden on top. 

Now leave them to cool on a tray, and mix your icing, should you wish some.

While mine cooked, I left a handfull of dried cranberries in a bowl of freshly boiled water and a tiny bit of sugar. To make my icing, I used Icing sugar and the cranberry infused water. I cheated too, and added a touch of red food dye (i used a little much). Then I covered my cupcakes in the icing, and sprinkled some more seeds on top, just for good measure. 

Now that mine have cooled, I shall go and try one....

Messy, but the best baking always is!

...they're very squishy. Not as lemony as i'd hoped, but otherwise very, very tasty!

The chocolate at the bottom has set nicely.

Happy baking!

Let me know how yours go if you give them a shot!

T.x

Motives...

So this is my first blog, and my first post.

I've wanted to start a blog for a while now, but have always been wary of them. So many blogs are sheer vanity, with lots of photos of the writer's latest shopping spree. Or, a new wife's excitement about her husband and kids. I've lost count of the number of blogs I've seen with the token photo of a darling 4 year old with a face covered in chocolate/riding the dog around the house. Sweet though they are, too much and they give you diabetes.

Then there's the ones all about Jesus, and how he's "making my life so wonderful". The wonders of life are the ones you find, bring to life and make for yourself.

(Just to clarify... that wasn't any kind of personal attack, on anyone. If any of the above applies to you, and you don't like my opinions, then don't bother with hate mail, just move on to the next blog. It'll save us both time and energy.)

In an attempt to avoid the vain stuff, I'm going to keep photos and personal info to a minimum. Quite apart from which, I don't fancy some random dude knowing what I look like, where I work and what I'm doing tomorrow.

My motives for starting ElectricSwallow (awful name, I know, but I was stuck.) were to share some of my thoughts, opinions, photos, recipes, tips, whatever, on any topic that springs to mind, or you ask about.

I often find myself thinking about a particular topic and feeling like I should write it down and, if it still makes sense, share it with others. 

Another hope is that a blog might encourage me to be more creative in my daily life. I'm actually a very creative person, but have neglected my camera, art supplies, my mannequin and so on in the last few years.

In conclusion, I want to cover lots of topics, avoid the vanity and the mundanity, and I want to share the stuff in my head that always sounds so full of wisdom.... until you speak it out loud, or write it down... at very least I can try and clarify my thoughts.

Until next time,

T.

(mmm...helvetica.)